Jan 29, 2015


I hate waiting.
Everyone does,I guess.

But now,I'm at the airport.Arrived at 9.30 pm,and waiting for a 6.15 to boarding in the flight.
I'm going to Chiang Mai.

The whole night reminds me of what has actually happened during 2 weeks of being 2nd semester student at KMB.

And maybe my personal life,though *winking*

Apparently,there's an ups and downs in this life and I guess two weeks are more than enough for me to understand about this sunnatullah.Its a nature,and no one can't avoid to be tested as tests could come in various ways.He could send the tests in a way He gives you everything that you want,or He could also test you by not giving what you have.He knows what's best for you,and His plan is always the best plan,the only thing that you have to do is to put trust.Believe,and be grateful.

I can't tell everything that had happened,but I want to highlight the latest thing happening to my life : The KMB election.

*oh dear,why am I listening to Ed Sheeran*

I filled in the form for being part of Students Representative Council.
I did all the istikharah,and I guess all the signs given said its a yes.So I proceed with handing in the form to one of the SPR.

But it didn't really work well,I guess.
The manifesto went well,maybe because I liked when it comes to public speaking.People put hope on me,and they know I could.

So,I was confident that I'll be toplisted as well.

But somehow,that Wednesday night..when the result was announced,it turned out that I didn't win the top 15.I was shocked,but everyone did as well.

Yes,the 15 top students are not even well known among us the Year 1,and some are even unexpected.
I was crying too much that night,trying to get the logic after being in a comfort zone of over-confident.

Yes it was unexpected night with unexpected results.Even SPR was surprised seeing the results and my name wasn't listed.

I was too hard finding logic behind it.
Where as the logic lies in me,where I should stop,take a breath,and think of God.
Think of fate.
Trust in Qadha and Qadar.
The rukun iman.

And I was..Ya Allah do forgive me for being forgetful.I'm a human that always need to be reminded,and having to face this test is one of it.

But I thanked God,for having someone to console.
Having friends,they came to my room and made me laugh.

What else should I not to be grateful?He actually gives me everything,because He knows maybe when I have the position - I'll be addicted to power.
I'll be addicted to position,and that's what I'm afraid of.Because it reminded me of ancient leaders;Firaun, name it.

By the time I'm writing this,I am literally listing down everything in my head that everything He has already given to me,albeit me who is always sinful,continuosly repeating the same mistakes and often forgetful to remind of Him in the morning and night.

The two weeks in KMB was hectic.It is a semester where you'll start doing Extended Essay,Internal Assessment,Class Based Project..oh whatever the long lists should be*crying*

I guess I was fatigue,and demotivated for the past two weeks.
I slept too much,and I didn't focus during the class.

yes I lost 5-6 kg's this year,and it wasn't because of overstressed or depressed.
But don't worry,I'm not sick though there are a lot of people getting worry about me losing too much weight.

All I'm doing right now is looking forward,moving on,and praying for the best thing to happen in my life.

For 3 more semester before going to UK,I'll work very hard for it.

I pray for Him to make ease of this path,and never let me astray from it.
I pray that awesome and kindhearted will always be around me,with condition of me to be one as well.
I pray for people I love to be next to me,and will always be.Because I'm too afraid of losing one.

A lot of sadness are actually happening in my life,but happiness of being with people I love overwhelmed it.
I let the gloomy days to pass with a good ending,and I let cheerful days to end with spreading rainbows to others as well.

Sometimes I feel like writing this blog,but its always a hard time to finish it up because of time constraint I had.

And today,alhamdulillah that I managed to write one though its full of crap actually hehe.
Just so you know that I'm still here in this world and is living :)