Jun 7, 2014

You don't even know what's best for you

It happened to me;
That I don't even know what's best for me.I dont know if things would work out well,though.
I was given a sea of choices throughout my life,and I couldn't even know that I actually make up things greatly.

Well that was before.

Funny to remember this old thing.It was funny,and sort of amusing most of the time.
I was well aware that I received a good grade in those two small exams;I got 5 A's and Mumtaz.
I'm so yearning to go SAM Bestari,a cluster islamic school located at Petaling Jaya.With a good grade that I earn,what stopped me for not going to?
The thing is,I didn't get the offer.Instead,I got SAMTSSAAS.Located at the very outskirt of Selangor,specifically in Sabak Bernam.

I guess,looking back at that moment,it was the best for me.Not until I got my PMR result.

Yes,I've been craving for so long to get the hell out of SAMTSSAAS.It was a personal reason,and battling internally and externally to the ups and downs here,I felt sick.I felt such an annoying to continue living myself here.I was kinda hatred,of this school.But as I said before,it was just because some mere personal reasons,that I wish I wouldn't remember.It caused me to cry for 3 days,non stop.No I'm not lying.

and I worked my pants off,to get the best for trials and real exam.
Alhamdulillah for the 9 A's.

And I applied for KISAS,a SBT school in Klang.Its the best islamic school,yet I wish to go here just to get the hell out of my personal problem(can you see my wrong intention,sigh).

Yet,I didn't get the KISAS offer.For 2 times,after my first rejection,and I applied for the 2nd one as 'rayuan'.
I asked myself,what the heck happening? I got all A's,I got a good extra cocurricular background,and why would they didn't choose me?

Allah knows well.

Times passed.
I'm getting to learn more,and find the pearls in samtssaas.I wouldn't say that I always live in a cloud nine,because I'm not.I have my own topsy turvy life here,but I did kicked all the pains and became stronger than I was before.

Allah knows well,and I'm thankful enough to be purely graduated from SAMTSSAAS.

The thing is,I managed to found a lot of hikmah pearls in SAMTSSAAS.The hikmah is ain't an easy going,it took pain and tears and sacrification.

Alhamdulillah,I feel blessed and thankful enough to receive my education here in samtssaas,despite the location that is located outskirt the town hehe :P

But I think,what doesn't kills me always makes me stronger.In the other hand,I found the hikmah in such a hard way,but I think its Allah's best tarbiyyah on me? maybe.


This is the best part,for me.I aimed to go Darul Quran,as I intended to get a certificate of memorizing the Qur'an,and to pursue Medic in IIUM.It wasn't easy,as the procedures are tight enough to get me in.I got C in Addmaths,and it was just only a mark to B though.Blame me for main-main during my SPM trial -,-'
(at least I got an A for real SPM,hehe).

And as I expected,I didn't get to go through even to Darul Quran interview.That's just such a worse situation,but I decided to let my life go on.All hail balqis,there are more things to treasure.

So,for my post spm activities,I won't be going to Darul Quran(the intake started on January as they use trial result for the candidates).

To make it easy,I got PLKN which I told my senior that I won't be going to PLKN.No,not at all.
But seeing myself not going anywhere as DQ,I got no reason not to go.

and so I go.

Well,it wasn't that bad.Afterall,it was fun though.I even make a chinese bestfriend,I even sang their song(Xiao Jiu Wo) blergh to that.

Ok,please highlight that balqis listened to a chinese song -_-'

I even met an unrequited love,bahahahahaha.But I even awarded anugerah komandan,bytheway.

It wasn't that bad,as I imagined before.Infact,It was so fun that I wanted to go there again!
(to be frank,I don't want to go for the second time;reminding the black face that I have to face and the food.Sort of,hehe)

The hikmah is all the way throughout my life,and alhamdulillah Allah blessed me though I err so much to Him.
I wonder why He blessed me so much,hmm? 

Because He is The Almighty.The Forgiving.

The KMB vs UIA
I never experienced this yet,but I'm sure enough that He will guide me all the way.

I choose KMB,alhamdulillah.I know,they said IB is pre-U hardest program ever on earth,but I choose IB.

(and that happened after I did my istikharah prayer).

I just need to find the hikmah pearls throughout the IB and all,and insyaAllah He will give me a successful ending.

I believe to You,dear Allah.Despite all the err I've done,I believe that You're The Most Forgiving.

Entah,I don't know what's best for me.Even if it's wrong,I'll fix it(with Allah's wills too).

If it's right,I pray to Allah to make the journey smooth,and managed to fly.

He,is the one that knows what's in the sky and earth.And even what's between.

Just pray hard,and make it right.

Goodbye :)